Image and text by Sarita Rajiv
I recently had an unexpected lesson in gift etiquette thanks to a gifting faux pas. I shouldn’t have done it, but I did. Out of excitement, eagerness and plain lack of common sense, I followed up…several times. This is how it happened.
It was my father’s birthday. As my father belongs to that category of people who are hard to gift, I put a lot of thought into what could be a good gift. I finally chose a couple of popular novels by celebrated authors as my father likes to read. A bit of research was required as I was looking for books in Malayalam -- a language I speak, but don’t read or write.
Since my father lives in India and I live in Denmark, I bought the books online, got them gift-wrapped and delivered a day before the big day and was feeling rather pleased with my choice of gift. Later, when I called my father to wish him, he mentioned he had received the gift and thanked me. So far so good.
The next time I spoke to my father, I asked him if he had read the books. ‘Not yet’ was the reply. No problem there. And then, the next three times I spoke to him, I asked if he had read the books and liked them. I would have persisted of course, until my husband told me, “ What are you doing? Stop following up. You’ve done your bit. Just let him decide when and where he wants to read the books, if at all.”
Ouch! That’s when I realised I had not only taken a misstep in gift giving etiquette, I had done something that I didn’t particularly like in others. I had clearly overdone it, forgetting that my role as the gift giver was over…finito. This is such a simple piece of gift giving etiquette that it often goes unmentioned. So here's my bit of advice on good gift etiquette: don’t follow up constantly after you’ve given your gift . While it’s perfectly natural to be curious and ask once what the recipients thought of the gift – especially if you didn’t have the opportunity to give it person – anymore than that is unwelcome and an error in gift etiquette you want to avoid.
Tell me readers, are you guilty of this? Have you followed up after giving a gift? I'd love to hear your stories.
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Sarita Rajiv is a writer, gifting specialist and founder of The Orange Gift Bag. She’s on a mission to uncover the ‘best gifts after love’. When she isn’t dreaming up unique gift ideas, she writes for The Copenhagen Post and The National Geographic Traveller India among others.
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